wow.. itz 1:30am and i'm not in bed... i'm insane... i know i know... and i have a super long day tmw... oh my... today wuz... valentines day... so everyone's bf/gf wuz @ school today, and well i finally got a chance to just TALK to my friends.. i miss 'em so much!!! i've been so busy and caught up in "stuff" lately that i havn't even had the time to just talk to 'em... waah!! but today wuz good.. got some time before heading off to work to talk with 'em... *sigh* life's prettie crazie... just a lotta stuff on my mind.. about the upcoming months... lemme think... there's: york/sheridan interview (PRAISE GOD), ocad interview (PRAISE GOD), scholarship deadlines, tc worship, tc, formal(s?) (!!!), replies from univ... oh my.. just way too many thingz.. itz arrite.. one step at a time? =)

so ANYwayz.. valentines day... got a rose.. yay!!! i've gotten one of every colour now!! hahaha.. well one of every colour that they sell every valentines @ bafoon, (that'd be white, yellow, red, pink)... and i've gotten one every year too! yay!!! PRAISE GOD!! hahaha..i sooo don't deserve roses... but anywayz.. yah... back to what God's been up to.. He's been teaching.. like mad teaching... whacking me and giving me bruises kinda teaching... this week wuz all about listening... not speaking, just being still and listening... so thaz what i'm tryin to do amidst all the craziness and worries and hectic-ness (hahaha. not a word) ... this is a quote i got from nat wong (thanx!!! =) that she got frum her fellowship counselor (i think?) .. hahaha... awesome quote.. =)

"Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God."

okay... so 3-4 hrs of sleep isn't really working for me right now... =P but all's good... signed out after 2nd period and just slept... surprisingly, i had the energy to get up in the morning to GO to the first two periods... PRAISE GOD! =) got work tonite.. bleh... itz okay tho i guess... work ppl are awesome... =) and i get to look around at more stuff i wanna buy.. hahaha.. oh my goodness.. gotta save up money... got so many thingz i gotta pay for... =P anywayz... God'll provide.. God'll provide....

probably gonna blog more later.. =) just bored @ the moment... anyhowz... God's been doing amazing thingz in bcf... yesterday we just had like an hour of worship and prayer... awesome stuff... and i know it can't be the leaderz, cuz we walked into the cafe without a clue about what we had planned that day.. (*sigh* so disorganized) but yah... i really felt that we needed just time to be with God.. be in awe of God, speak to God, cry out to God... so worship... and we picked songz like 5 minz before starting... but PRAISE GOD.... the Spirit wuz definitely moving in the cafe. we started off a l'il shaky and everyone wuz really self-conscious.... so yah... and we sang a coupla songz... then we went into the slower songz and more meditative environment...and it definitely wuzn't the instruments or the music, since we only had a guitar and an out-of-tune piano... but God wuz there... God led the worship... and WOW... just spending time in prayer... all these thingz that i've been learning came to mind, and all these thingz that i've been doin wrong (oh my) came to mind... and well, i'll just leave it at GOD IS GOOD...=D

As children bring their broken toys
with tears for us to mend
I brought my broken dreams to God
ecause He is my friend
But then instead of leaving Him
in peace to work alone
I hung around and tried to help
with ways that were my own
At last, I snatched them back and cried,
"How can You be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go.

let go & let God

"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls."

jeremiah 6:16

picture this... u're walkin with God... and u know whatevr... He's holding ur hand like the loving Father that He is... then something comes along the way, like a butterfly or something that just catches ur eye and excites u... u jump in excitement and start running, cuz u're so excited! and God being our Heavenly Daddy just watches us run, and smiles, cuz He knowz what's gonna end up happening, yet He watches over us and makes sure that we're okay. so this is kinda the situation i'm in right now. i find that i often get excited about certain thingz that God has blessed me with that i end up RUNNING... and like i leave Him behind.. so i go off and run and then i come to a point where itz either a HUGE HILL or a fork in the road, and i find myself confused and scared all at the same time.. and i turn around and see God coming towards me, then He lovingly takes my hand and tells me "it's okay.. i'm here... let's go this way" and takes me down the right path. so that'z where i'm at... just learning to not run.. hahaha.. learning to be still and be patient... knowing that God's timing is perfect and if i just stay in stride with Him, i won't end up lost and confused and scared... (just like a l'il kid... =)